Today was a bad day. Today was a terrible day. Today I ate 2 pieces of cake, and I feel like dirt.
I have a confession: I love terrible food. I can’t resist it some days. Today was one of those days. I love things like pop tarts, KD, granola bars, those frozen cheese cakes you can buy at the grocery store, think of the worst thing to put into your body, guaranteed I want to eat it. I was that girl who used to lie to myself about what I was putting into my body, the girl who would sneak extra cookies or chocolate and that girl was always unhappy and unbalanced. But I loved (…love) it all, but you know what? It doesn’t love me. Not even a little bit.
This past month I’ve been feeling great. Heck, I made it through mounting a play without a panic attack or any more than a (minor) meltdown. It’s funny the way food can dictate the way you feel. Again, I would never say paleo is for everyone, but the way I’m feeling tonight is making me realize it’s definitely for me. I haven’t felt more shitty in the last month than I do right now. Perhaps it’s post-play depression and yes it’s a real thing just ask any actor/director/stage crew. Regardless, I should feel amazing, accomplished and absolutely bright and shiny. I do not.
So when people say you should eat what you want, they’ve never met a girl like me who could (nay, HAS) single-handedly consume an entire cake in one sitting. Food is the thing that dictates whether or not I’m mentally and emotionally balanced. It’s far more to me than just the thing I need to put into my body in order to survive. It decides my mood, my mindset and my physical ability to perform. Food is supposed to fuel my body, not make it feel like this.
Moral of this story and such a long winded post: No more cake for Meghan…well paleo cake is allowed haha!
Back to clean eating tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, I love new days. Anything can happen.
“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Tell me I’m not the only gal (or guy) out there who feels like this?